Welcome to the full Hysterectomy story:

Some information that you need to know about me before we start:

 

-I am currently a 42-year-old woman and mother of three, who is about to tell you her hysterectomy story. 

- I am a Christian and my writings are centered on my belief in a healing savior who saves his people from their sins. His name is Jesus. This is important to know so that the reader can understand why I think the way that I think and write the way I write.

-The type of hysterectomy that I had was a laparoscopic partial vaginal hysterectomy.  This means that the doctor made small incisions in my stomach area in order to place a camera and surgical tools inside of my body to conduct major surgery .  The doctor removed two large fibroids, my uterus, and one ovary through my vagina. 

-I have had anemia (low blood, low energy) for most of my life.  I currently believe in natural healing through God’s food, herbs, word, and prayer.

 

With all that said, I was scared. Ya”ll!

 

I didn’t initially want to have this surgery but I wanted my pain to stop.  The day of the surgery was fine.  The anticipation of feeling relief from the recent pain I had been experiencing helped me through.  I just kept thinking that after the surgery, everything would be better. I don’t remember anything during the surgery.  The anesthesia made me feel that rolling down the hallway to have the surgery, and  then the rolling to the recovery room was the span of 3 minutes. Of course, as I was told later, that the four-hour surgery became a 5-hour surgery due to my “Extra Large Uterus.”

 

Doctor:  “WOW, we have to keep you overnight because we had trouble getting your ‘Extra Large Uterus’ out.  You had some vaginal swelling, and it may feel like you delivered a baby.  We will need to keep you for observation.  Your key to getting out of here is to be able to eat something, walk around, and pee on your own.  So, get some rest and we’ll see what we can give you for pain.”

 

So, I got the rest. I took the pain medicine. I got through the gas pain that shot up to my shoulder like a bullet into a wood roof. I spent the night in the hospital while my husband slept on the hospital couch in the corner. I made it through, and I didn’t feel that bad.  I counted my incisions: 1-2-3-4-5. Okay, not bad.  I should be feeling like myself in about 2 weeks.  This was good.  I feel good about this.

 

2 weeks later I was not okay!

 

I was exhausted from the exhaustion.  It felt like I was sitting on a ball of gas that couldn't find it's way out of my body.  I just needed one good fart!  But I could not pass the gas. The gas twisted and squirmed around my abdominal region in small bursts of exploration.  It could not find a way out. Apparently, the doctors had to fill my lower cavity with extra CO2 gas in order to navigate their way during the surgery to extract my "Extra Large Uterus."  The CO2 is expected to be absorbed into the digestive organs and released naturally by day four following any laparoscopic surgery.  My gas pain did not subside day 4, nor day 14, nor day 21.

 

I didn’t know what to expect and I didn’t anticipate this overall note of “slow down.”  Everyone just kept telling me, “You need your rest. . . Don’t try to do anything, just rest.  Don’t think about anything, just get your rest so that your body can recover.”   I didn’t want to hear this.  I wanted to at least try to do things on my own.

 

Every time I coughed, it hurt.  I didn’t want anyone to make me laugh because it hurt.  I didn’t want to sit up, roll over, or walk to the bathroom because it hurt. Whenever I thought I could start feeling normal again, my body said, “Nope, not today!”  I literally had a running list of all the things I needed to do, but I couldn’t do them.  I had no energy to muster up.  I had no grit to push me forward.

The days become slow and then fast. I was incredibly busy napping, keeping un-constipated, and relearning my bladder control.  I was slowly letting go of the need to be the “doer.”  I was learning how to rest.

 It was hard.

 

Of course, I would tell everyone when they called, “I’m fine, I’m  fine . . . feeling much better thanks for calling . . . No, I don’t need anything, thanks.”  But the truth was that I was in a lonely place.  I was calling on Jesus for some answers:

 

My thoughts:

Why am I going through this?

Why did I have to have complications?

Why can’t life just be easy?

Why did I have to have my uterus taken from my body and why does it feel like a part of me is missing?  Why do I feel empty inside, literally and figuratively? Why am I empty?

 

I searched YouTube for the answers. There were so many stories on YouTube about what to expect about your hysterectomy recovery.  People talked about what they were currently going through, and what they had been through.  Women talk about how they felt 2 weeks, 3 months, and even 6 months after the surgery.  Most reports were positive.  Most women said it was the best decision that they had ever made.  However, for me, it kind of seemed like I was forced into it.  I felt like I had no choice in the matter.

 

To keep a long story short, this is what happened this past summer:

 

I was tired all of the time.  The fatigue got so bad that it started to affect my breathing and my heart rate. I finally decided to go to the hospital where the doctors found that my blood levels were very low. I had to have three blood transfusions and an iron infusions to get my levels up.  The doctors suggested that the source of the problem was my heavy menstrual bleeding caused by large fibroids and a thick uterine lining.  They said I needed a surgery.  They said I needed a hysterectomy.

 

My thoughts:

“Not today Satan!  I don’t need no stinking surgery!  No one will be cutting me open! No gracias.  I will be keeping my uterus, thank you very much.  The Lord will heal me from this issue of blood.”

 

I was very serious in my response.  I didn’t want to have surgery, nor did I trust the doctors fully in their diagnosis of what ailed me.  I felt much better after the blood transfusion and so I ignored most of the advice that was given to me.  Instead, I did my own research on what type of foods I should eat to lower my estrogen levels and help balance my progesterone levels.  I convinced myself that I was going to be fine and that my newfound energy was going to last through my premenopausal journey. I convinced myself that I had another 10 good years left in me.

 

I was wrong.  Each monthly menstrual cycle following my hospitalization led me to heavier bleeding, debilitating pain, and larger hospital bills.  EVERY MONTH!  I prayed for this pain to dissipate.  I prayed and I pleaded to the Lord for him to heal me. I was missing way too much work to go on like this.  I was in a hard place, but the Lord told me to move on with the surgery. Did I mention that I didn’t have medical insurance?

 

My thoughts:

“How do I ask for and schedule a surgery I can’t pay for?”

 

I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and he heard my cry.  He brought me up also out of the horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock and established my goings.

Psalms 40:1-2 KJV

 

I thank God for being faithful.  I believe that he wanted me to have this surgery because he made a way out of no way.  The following is a timeline of my sickness:

 

July 2023- Energy drained and incredibly fatigued.  Development of plantar fasciitis.

August 2023- Hospitalized for low blood. 3 blood transfusions. The cervix, Uterus, and Fibroids tested for cancer.

September 2023- Felt okay but very heavy bleeding.  Results: No cancer. Started synthetic hormone treatment.

October 2023- Experienced incredible pain. Applied for insurance during open enrollment.

November 2023- Hospitalized at the beginning of November with debilitating pain in the lower abdomen. I contacted the doctor to schedule surgery for mid-January.

December 2023- Back in the hospital with the same pain (still no health insurance). Still no successful treatment for the pain.

January 2023- Health insurance kicks in on the 1st. I was back in the hospital emergency room with the same pain.  This was a week before the scheduled surgery.  At this point, I was convinced that I needed the surgery, or I was going to die. 

 

My thoughts:

“I am too tired to keep going on like this.  Lord, you need to either fix this or take me on home.”

 

I never thought that I would feel that tired of being sick and tired.  I just wanted the pain to stop.  I wanted the excessive bleeding to stop.  I needed the consistent cramping to stop, and the dizzying fatigue to stop so that I could leave my house during my monthly visits from Aunt Flow.  I needed the headaches to cease and the back pain to ease.  Did I mention my new symptoms of night sweats, hot flashes, and emotional outbursts?  My hormones were going crazy! 

 

So, mid-January of 2024 I had this surgery.  This is the surgery where they removed the organ that held my three children to term.  This is the surgery where what makes me a woman would be forcibly tugged out of my vagina along with the fibroids that had caused so much trouble.  This was the surgery, of which I was told, would make everything better.

 

2 weeks after the surgery I wrote the following:

 

My thoughts:

“I am sitting here in bed, waiting for rest to approach my troubled heart and my weary soul.  It is 2am and I feel like I have somewhere to go but I am totally limited in my movement. My mind wants to move, but my body wants to throw a toddler tantrum.  My limbs will not show the energy to perform. My body just lays there, heavy, with all its weight, refusing to obey. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I pray on this night that the Lord strengthens my spirit, that I may once more live again.”

 

I get so dramatic when I’m facing an emotional crossroads in life.  Having a life-altering surgery will do that to you.   I think society makes it seems like some surgeries are a standard procedure and that recovery should only take a 2-3 week recovery period.  We often adhere to these societal guidelines, and we go back to work.  We are conditioned to go back to our normal routine while still being broken inside. I don’t think that recovery should be normalized.  My body has experienced a trauma.  I need time to heal.

 

My soul has experienced a trauma.  I need time to heal.

Everyone should have time to heal on their own timeline.

 

Today marks my 4 week post-operation date. I am still tired all of the time, but I have hope that everything will turn out alright.  The Lord has instructed me to write about it and get it all out. I have also decided to gradually switch to a plant-based diet so that the Lord can start healing my physical body.  I have decided to be more invested in understanding the mind-body-soul connection.  I want to care for this mind, this body, this soul, and this spirit that the Lord has blessed me with.  Join me in this journey this year.  I will be writing about what I am learning and I will share it with you.

 

"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 31:8

 

You can check out some of my weekly reflections since the surgery  by clicking on the pictures below.

-until next time

Tamorra

 

I continue to promote and encourage people to seek after the Lord for encouragement, hope, motivation, and food for your soul.  He said that if you really do thirst or if we are too heavy with the burdens of this world, then we can turn to him.  Let us turn to him so that he can restore our souls.

 

 

Here are some more posts about my story: