But the reality is that there’s a dark side to all this productivity and goal-setting stuff too, one that us moms don’t always talk about, but one that lurks around every corner of achievement in our lives.

Do you know what it is?

It’s mom guilt.

That feeling that we are doing something wrong or neglecting our family or somehow damaging our children anytime we pursue one of our own passions or dreams, anytime we take the time to work on our career, or even to focus on our own health and well-being.

It’s omnipresent guilt that is there in the background All. The. Time. That little nagging voice that keeps telling us we should be more, do more, love more, nurture more, give more, serve more, and even pray more.

That little voice that says whatever we’ve done, it’s probably not enough.

I was confronted with this guilt head on this week, and let me tell you, it wasn’t fun.

You see, after homeschooling our girls for a semester in the fall, they were starting their first day of “real” school on Monday. And so, on Sunday evening I picked out their uniforms and helped them pack up their backpacks and blow-dried their hair and made sure they were 100% ready to go.

But my main reason for all this proactiveness was that I had plans to hit the gym on Monday morning. I figured since everything had been done the night before, I would be able to sneak off for an hour workout and get back just in time to see them off and snap a few requisite first-day-of-school photos.

Except I got the time wrong.

I thought school started at 8:30, but really it was 8, and although when I discovered the mistake, I rushed home to try to make it, I was too late.

They had already left for school.

I missed saying goodbye, and wishing them luck on their first day. Missed giving my mom lecture on being kind and watching out for the kids who are being left out. Missed making sure their hair looked cute and their socks were pulled up. Missed taking pictures.

I missed it all. It felt like a punch to the gut.

But thankfully, this whole mom guilt thing is something I’ve had to deal with before, and it is something I’ve had to work hard to overcome. And honestly, I think it comes down to resolving to stop listening to that little voice that tells us we are failing and to declare our home a guilt-free zone.

Because think about the choice we are giving ourselves. We can either not go after our goals or pursue our dreams and live a life of regret, or we try to pursue our dreams and constantly feel guilty in the process.

Either way, we lose.

But does it really have to be that way?

I want to pick Door #3, the option where I get to choose to make big goals and go after them, and NOT feel guilty about it!

Why shouldn’t I? And more importantly, why shouldn’t you?

All we have to do is make the choice.

What would happen if we all adopted a Mama Manifesto that went something like this:

From this moment forward, I refuse to choose between pursuing my big goals and dreams and being a great mom, because I know that being a great mom doesn’t mean I have to be a perfect mom.

I believe that the best way I can serve my family is by creating a life that works for all of us and that the best example I can set for my kids is a mama who is passionate and driven and willing to do hard things, take risks, and go after big dreams.

I choose to stop putting unrealistic expectations on myself for all the things that I am “supposed” to do, and will instead get clear about my priorities. We all get the same 24 hours, and no one can do it all, so from this moment on, I choose to focus the bulk of my time and energy on the things that matter most to me.

I give myself permission to let some things go, and I give myself permission to take shortcuts, without feeling guilty. I choose to believe that sometimes good enough is plenty.

I give myself permission to stop comparing myself to the moms I see around me, or to the unrealistic image I see in the media, in magazines, or on social media. I give my permission to stop paying attention to anything that makes me question my own self-worth as a mom.

I give myself permission to practice self-care so that I can be a better mom, a better wife, a better friend, and a better person. I give myself permission to not be perfect, and I will stop expecting others around me to be perfect as well.

I choose to believe that giving myself grace is not the same as making excuses, and while I give myself permission to not be perfect, I refuse to give up or to stop trying.

I understand that there will be moments of frustration in my journey and that there will sometimes be roadblocks and setbacks that get in my way, but I will keep reminding myself that every breakdown leads to a breakthrough, and I will keep going, even when things are hard.

I know that courage doesn’t mean that I am never scared; instead, courage is taking action in spite of fear. And so, every single day, I will choose to Do It Scared®, because that is who I am.

I will be a strong, passionate, courageous mother for my children. I will love them like crazy and encourage them to be strong, passionate, and courageous as well. I will lead by example.

This is the mom I want to be, and the one my kids deserve.

This is my mama manifesto.

Pretty powerful right?

The truth is that as moms, we CAN choose to stop that mom guilt in its tracks and instead pick a different path, one that gives us the freedom and permission to pursue our goals and dreams, create a life we love AND still be a great mom.

And I guess that is my challenge for you this week--stop your mom guilt in its tracks by adopting your own Mama Manifesto, and then reminding yourself what it says, over and over again, as many times as it takes for the message to sink in. You don’t have to be all things to all people. Your kids will be okay if you’re not perfect. You have my permission to go after your goals and your dreams without feeling the least bit bad about it.

Here’s to saying NO to mom guilt in 2018!

Are you with me?

Live with purpose, friends, and have an amazing week!

xoxo, Ruth