I didn’t know that I was going through a period of mourning when their marriage died on social media this past summer of 2020.  As a black woman I should have been more involved in the Black lives Matter movement or more outwardly saddened by George Floyd’s death but instead I went into a dark place because Rachel and Dave announced that they were getting a divorce.

 

Writing is a necessary term of my mental health.  Although the topic of Rachel and Dave Hollis is not a biblical topic, life is. We can look at other people's stories and our brains will begin to make sense of the world around us.  Every individual person is trying to make sense of his world.  Each person should be on his or her journey towards growth and fulfillment. 

 

I'm rounding up the end of Dave Hollis’s book “Get Out of Your Own Way: a skeptics guide to growth and fulfilment.”  I have to say that despite all the lies that he and Rachel had dumped on us about how to build a long strong successful marriage; the book was successful in revelations of self concept, self esteem, and self-mastery.  The book was good.  I also felt the undercurrent of a controlling spirit set out to mold an image of perfection and success.  With that said, let us all say "Poor Dave!"

 

I could only imagine the tension and the pressure of a household that was ran by someone who needed to be in control all of the time.  And this was the persona that I get from Rachel: someone who is designed to control, manage, grow things, and build.  I am not disqualifying her as a mother or a wife but when I read the book I was like, poor Dave!  I wish I would send my husband an email about how he can do better, be better, and stop being such a pussy.  I felt like this was what Dave felt like as he described his position at Disney and his transition into his position at the Hollis Company.  I think this book showed Dave’s humility and his honest journey towards growth and fulfillment.  I definitely started to lean to the “Team Dave” side of things.

 

Friends, I find it so strange that I am so entangled in this relationship that is not my own.  I find it so strange that I write about Christian values and living a good Christian life to also find it so easy to gossip about people I don’t even know!  This should not be.  Blessings and cursing should not come out of my mouth at the same time.  BUT, it is so good!  I don's seek to destroy a brand or cause harm.  I just want to understand so that I can continue to enjoy the motivation that Rachel so eloquently shares with her audience.  I still want to be a Rachel fan!

 

I know that this is part of my process.  I write things out so that I can make sense of it.  Writing is very cathartic.

 

I am not sure about the direction this post is going to go.  I wish I had the answers to why they decided to split.  I wish I had the answers to get them back together, because then, I would be able to make sense of the situation.  Then I would have convinced myself that I have the right to inject opinions into other people’s chaotic realities of living. But I know deep down that I do not have this authority.

 

Rachelle marketed herself as the queen of addressing the lie.  She motivated us to live a life more fulfilling by eating better, doing better, loving better, growing better.  I had put hope in her.  I felt that she had figured something out about living that I had not yet.  But this was a lie.  It was all a big fat lie.

 

I wrote in a previous post:

 

“I read books.  Mostly self help books and biographies, but I have to say that I will slow down on those.  Why? Because I have been placing too much faith in those books.  I would believe the things that people would say and I would want the things that they had.  They painted a picture of a beautiful life, full of happiness and order.  They often painted the picture that they figured everything out and now it was their duty to share with people how they can also make it through." 

 

It was not that Rachel and Dave had never failed during their journey of living, but they gave this idea that they had made it through all the tough parts with flying colors.  On many levels, I believed them.  On many levels I had faith that they had the answer to life’s puzzles.

 

Friends,  here goes the thing:  No body has it all figured out!  If we had it all figured out we wouldn’t be here.  I think this life is for our spirit to figure out where it needs to go, what it needs to hold on to, and what it needs to let go.  Figuring things out is a never ending process. This is what I think Dave was doing through his writing a skeptic's guide to growth and fulfilment. He was figuring things out that subconsciously came out on paper.  He and Rachel had to discuss these issues intensely, immensely, and privately.  I have concluded that the existence and the inevitable demise of their marriage was none of my business.  This realization brings me peace. Therefore, I am supporting Rachel in her decision to let go of something that wasn’t working anymore. 

 

It was my own personal miscalculations that placed hope in her success as a Christian woman.  It was my own lack of understanding that ran after Dave and Rachel’s success story.  I no longer place blame on Rachel for misleading her audience about her marriage.  It’s all good.  I wrote in a previous post:

 

“People know how to sell you hope.  They know how to package it up and send it priority. I’m going to stop believing so much in what they are teaching, and I am going to start believing Jesus.  I am going to be better at believing Jesus.  I am going to start believing stronger in the promises of God.”

 

The problem:

 

It is not known how one can live a life fulfilled and happy unless he gives his life away for something that he thinks will give him fulfillment.

 

The Solution:

Believe in Jesus. Jesus will lead you to a life of happiness and fulfilment.

 

As I wrap this post, I want to highly recommend Dave’s book. It had valuable information in it.  At the end of each chapter Dave gave some tips of how he overcame some of his self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and how he made perception shifts throughout his journey.  You can see the influence that Rachel had on his life.   I think Rachel is who she is, which is a coach for the journey! But remember the truth about motivation and don’t live there.  Don’t take other people’s experience as absolute truth.  You have to read your bible to gauge real truth, then you have to make sense of your own world.

 

Meanwhile, Checkout the collection I put together about all the things I have grown from while following Rachel and Dave Hollis on their journey.

 

 

 

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

Psalm 139:14

 

 

This blog is dedicated to spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the coming of his Kingdom.  Therefore all content is God centered and adheres to the word of God.  My Goal is to motivate you to find your purpose.