Did you ever read the story about Harriet Jacobs?  She was the slave girl who ran away from her plantation, made the sacrifice to live in her grandmother's attic for five years while waiting for the opportune moment to flee to the north.  She told us stories about slaves being dragged to death, chased down, and maimed by dogs, and even eaten alive by mice.  She told her story of bondage and about her journey to freedom.  She was determined to have her freedom and she desired for her children to be free as well.  She eventually achieved her dream, although she had to go through hell to get there.  She had a strong mind to make it through her troubles.  She also had the mind to make the hard decisions that would change the course of history.  Perhaps her most influential decision was to publish her writings that gave a deeper look into the inhumane treatment of slaves during the 1800’s.  You can read about her experiences in her 1861 publication entitled “Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl.” 

Reading her story led me into deep reflection about the following conundrum:

There have been people who have been through harder things than me.  So why can’t I do it?

This is the question that I am reflecting on.  I don’t know why I go into deep philosophical thought about these things.  But I am finding myself in a space of failure and I desperately want to understand what is going on.  Who am I becoming?

I have recently approached a crossroads where I should make a major decision for my life but I refuse to.  Basically, I should be deciding between working hard at a job that I know I can do or starting my own business as an independent art teacher.  I don’t want to make this decision.  So, I stay put.  I stay put as a pre-school teacher who loves her students but has to deal with the politics of schooling.  I stay put because this is a decision that keeps me safe.  This is also the decision that keeps me from moving forward in life.

Decisions have consequences

Decisions have consequences.  Big decisions can change the course of history.  Big decisions can have the potential to make things fall apart.  I am a deep reflector of things, of books, of ideas, and of life.  I ask my-self often;  “If she can do it, why can’t I do it?” I want to have a strong mind to make the right decisions to achieve my freedom like Harriet Jacobs.  I want to be free to become who I am destined to be.  I want to become who God has purposed me to be.

I have reasoned through experience that we create our life by the choices that we make, but if we deeply explore those same motivations that cause us to make those decisions, we may find that there is a more powerful source directing those urges to decide. . .

I believe that God is the author of all that is purposed.

 

You truly can do anything you set your mind to.  The thing is, that it is sometimes hard to set your mind to something without knowing how to.  What will it take to write the book, to finish school, leave that job or to go for the promotion?  It takes mind work.  And it takes wisdom, knowledge and research to find those ingredients that will help you on your journey to become.  I have also learned that it takes more than will power to be successful in this world.  I am contemplating if I have what it takes to move forward. But only God truly knows this.  Only God knows the plans he has for us.  Only God knows the gifts and the resources he plans to open up for us to do the work that we were destined to do.  

I am currently taking time to reflect on my next moves without absorbing a spirit of comparison.  I read to learn other people’s stories.  I read to find out the ingredients of being successful.

I read a few great books this year and I am intrigued with findings of achievement.  I am also agreeing from my own recollections that achieving an idea of success will not make me happy.  I believe that experience will ultimately set the tone for my joy but my decision making will create the attitude of my demeanor.  Your attitude determines your altitude.  This means that the way you perceive things around you matters. Your perception drives your decision making.

 It is your decisions that create your experiences.  It is your tone of life and your cadence of exploration that sets you in the mood to be successful. Therefore, the condition of your mind sets you in the place to experience important moments of life.  If you don’t take the time to experience those moments, you lose the moment and can not collect the benefits of it.  You cannot learn from an experience if you don’t take the time to experience the moment.

Becoming who you are supposed to be takes sacrifice

I read Becoming by Michelle Obama and thought that it was a wonderful rendering of her experience being a wife, and a mother.  Instead of her complaining about the hardships of her life, she presented each struggle as a lesson to be learned.  Her parents were poor but her and her brother became content with sharing a room on the top floor of her aunt’s and uncle’s house. Sacrifice is a decision. Her parents made a decision to not own a home of their own so that they were capable to send her to school.  Michelle and her brother had opportunities because of the decisions that her parents made.  Her parents had a perspective of the future and made sacrifices to help mold that future for their children. Decisions mold futures and prepares vision.

The world has come to identify Barack Obama as the first African American president of the United States of America.  This was an honorary and coveted title for anyone seeking notoriety in this world. Michelle, however, made her own success before meeting Barack.  Barack was an intern at her law firm when they met.  Eventually, they both made the decision to experience their friendship on a deeper level.  This was an important shift in living their “purpose story.”  The story was all about making those life altering decisions.

Michelle placed in front of us piece by piece what it took to become who she was going to be.  The decisions that she made created her to be who she was destined to be; the first lady of the United states of America.  She explained that the journey wasn’t easy but that each step she learned something about herself and she learned things about the world that she lived in.  She presented a beautiful and enchanting story of what it takes to become great.  She did it with such humility that it may convince you that you also have the ability to become something great.  I’m sure it inspired someone to at least believe for a moment that he or she could make a great change in the world.  It encouraged me to believe that I also could become more than what I currently was.  However, when it comes to actually being able to achieve great things, opposition knocks me down and I ask the question once again:  “if she could do it, why can’t I?”   Only now the question burns with envy and confusion instead of a hopeful curiosity of the future.

 

I heard someone recently say that your purpose is to actively seek after your purpose otherwise you are just living to work and then die.  She then said:

“And I hope that shakes people to the core when they hear that!”

-Agent Nicole

And it does shake me because I believe the same thing in my heart.  I have believed it for very long and for the last five years I had been trying to make the decisions that would benefit my purpose.

I have been stuck on this idea of purpose for a while now.  I don’t think it should be hard to find your purpose. I also think that the world makes it harder for some people to find their purpose.  Most of us only have time to work then die with an occasional recreational activity in between.  I think it is time for the world to wake up and say Enough is Enough!!

I currently read Agent Nicole’s book to see what she had to say about becoming your own personal agent.  Lois Howes asked her the following question on his podcast:

“What is your definition of greatness?”

She responded, hesitantly but intuitively. Soft spoken but loud, shaking the core of my being with words of truth and inspiration:

“Everyone has what it takes, and everyone knows what it takes, but are you willing to do what it takes?”

 

And here is my dilemma over these last five years.  Maybe I am not willing to do what it takes to be successful at the level that the world says I ought to want it.  I have counted the cost of that success.  I know what it will cost me to work all the time, taking no time for my family, friends, or myself.  I know where it has left me before and I don’t want to experience that ever again.  I have to think differently so I want to know how Harriet Jacobs was able to do what she did? How did Michelle Obama find the strength to make the decisions she did for her family.  And how did Agent Nicole overcome the obstacles that she did to become so successful in her field?  I know that I have to make the necessary decisions to find the life that I desire and the one that I deserve.  I know that there are people who had a harder life than me, so how could they do it and why can’t I?

Many are the plans of a man's heart but it is God’s purpose that will prevail . . .  proverbs

Sometimes I just want to ask God, “Well, am I going the right way?  Am I following the purpose that you laid out for me? What is my purpose?”  One day the answer can be so clear and the next day I am drowning in uncertainty.  Nobody has this life figured out.  Nobody but Jesus. So, the reason why someone can’t do something is because they aren’t supposed to . . .

I think that the perspective shift about life happens when we start looking at life as a journey.  We are on a journey  to reach the purpose that God has for us.  Our personal journey itself leaves clues for others.  I think we are exactly where we are supposed to be as growing organisms.  We were planted where we are and we make the mistakes that we are supposed to make because the environment that we were born in is ready for those mistakes. Eventually we will sprout up exhibiting our purposes with brightness and beauty.  Hence, some of us are just waiting for our turn to be prosperous while others have their time in the now.  We can’t envy others for their success, they were planted to have that type of success because it was time for them to be successful.

I think that listening to agent Nicole’s story about her struggles was eye opening in associating how we become stronger because of the struggle. She had to survive as an 8 year old trying to find something to eat while teaching herself how to drive at 14 so that she could get to the magnet school across town.  What a story, what a design.

All three women came from very poor circumstances but were also benefited by something that was leading them to a better life.  They all had a vision for something different then what they currently had.  They knew in their hearts that they were going to be somebody.  Harriet Jacobs knew that she was going to be free,  Michelle Obama knew that she was going to be somebody,  Nicole knew that she was going to be successful.  Nicole said it was her drive that made her successful while also giving credit to her faith in God, a gift she said was cultivated early on by her mother.  She knew that she was going to make it out of her current circumstances.  

No story was an overnight success, although people may label it that way.  Each story had its own journey and when the story itself  was made known, the beauty of each story shined forth as something magnificent.  And the people  might say in response to these stories “what an awesome story of rags to riches, or what an awesome story about overcoming!”  But these ladies, even as their stories are being told, are still overcoming.  They didn't experience their story because they were weak, no, they had their journey because they were strong.  They continue to live their story because they were strong.

So, now I know what I have to do.  I have to do what these women did.  I have to get stronger. We all have to become stronger.  We all have to do what it takes.  We have to live in the attic for five years, silent, meeting death often, and recovering while waiting for just the right moment to run for our freedom.

 

I continue to promote and encourage people to seek after the Lord for encouragement, hope, motivation, and food for your soul.  He said that if you really do thirst or if we are too heavy with the burdens of this world, then we can turn to him.  Let us turn to him so that he can restore our souls.

 

 

I hope you take the time to appreciate the long, rich, multi-faceted history of the black culture and art! Check out the collection of Black History Posts from earlier this year.   

 

 

A Collection of Black History Posts

 

It's a Poetry Power Special for Black History Month. Check it out.