If you are just now joining me, I have decided to write about how I am feeling about having my uterus removed in a surgery called a hysterectomy.  This is my hysterotomy story.

 

The following is what I wrote On Feb 2, 2024.

 

I just finished week 3 of recovery.  It is 21 days after my surgery, and I am so happy that I feel better.  It has been hard to feel good for more than two hours at a time.  Today, I don’t feel like my insides are moving around trying to find a home to inhabit.  By this, I mean that my intestines are finally deciding to function again.  It is a weird feeling to know that something has been cut out of your body, and that there will be nothing sent to take its place. 

 

Well, not so fast.  The space where my uterus once was must have been taken up by the second half of my stomach! My appetite! Oh my goodness. I am hungry all the time.  This is new for me.  Isn’t it something how your old normal can be changed, and then you enter into what someone else always thought was normal?  This is getting me to think about perspective.

 

"We only see and experience life how we see and experience life.  It is through our bodies that we make sense of the world."

-me

 

Reflection:

I want to reflect on the idea of perspective for a little bit.  In the past, I know that I wrote in ways that made it seem like I was sure of the way that things should go.  I spoke to people as if I knew what God wanted and needed from them. I failed to consider that we all are on different walks of life, we come from different cultural backgrounds an different spiritual backgrounds.  As a teacher I have to learn to be sensitive to the needs of others by considering their language and interpretations of God's truths.

 

The Bible tells us what the Lord wants for us, but I didn’t perceive how different our experiences could be based on individual perspectives.  The Lord sees and knows everything that he has for us, but sometimes we don’t know nor can we perceive it for ourselves.  We can only guess, ask, or listen to the Holy Spirit to gain insight on how to be open to our blessings.  As believers, we are more sensitive to the urging of the spirit and we can understand better that our suffering in the flesh brings strength to the spirit.  I am asking God to teach me how to interpret this message to a suffering and dyeing world.  I know that, we as believers, have to go through many experiences in order to have a glimpse into what someone else is going through.  Sometimes we have to go through suffering so that we have better words to use when attempting to connect to  one another's suffering circumstances. We are here to help each other even if we don't fully understand what the Lord is preparing us for.

 

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”

I Corinthians 2:9

 

We have timelines given to us by the Lord and timelines given to us by ourselves.  The reason I mention timelines is because I had a timeline in my head about when I was supposed to feel better.  I had a timeline in my head about when I was going to feel normal again.  It has been 21 days and I don’t feel normal.  I feel better, but I’m starting to think that I will never go back to the way things were because my uterus is gone.  My ovary, my fallopian tubes, and dead tissue that was once in my body are no more. BUT it has been removed for the better.  It was done for my health.  Although the process of the surgery was arduous and although the process of the recovery was complex, it had to happen for my betterment. 

 

There are some big changes on the way in our current world. We may suffer, but it is for preparation purposes.  Things may not be "normal" again and we have the right to mourn the things that we lost, but we can get stuck there.  We have to move on and grow from our suffering experiences.

 

Though I am recovering from what once ailed me, I am greeted with new challenges and new circumstances that I may or may not be equipped to handle.  This is okay because I will go through these things with the help of the Lord. I will make it through, and I will overcome. I will climb that mountain once I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death.  I want you to know that you can do it too.

 

I am realizing that this recovery process is much like life.  We have to go through things.  No one would know exactly how I feel if I didn’t write it down.  I may not discover how I actually feel if I didn’t write it on this blog.  I am thankful that the Lord decided to be with me day by day through this process.  It is he who has gone deep and he continues to cut out the prejudice that has blocked my perspective.  My empathy is growing for others. 

 

I don’t know exactly what you have been through, but I know that it was something.  I don’t judge you or pretend like I can tell you exactly what waits for you on the other side of your pain.  All I can tell you is that you are not alone.  We are all learning from our suffering.  We are all growing.  We are all going through this process of healing.  You may never feel normal again when you let the Lord spiritually remove that thing that is causing you to die.  There is life after the pain.  There is hope after the suffering.

 

But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. 

Romans 5:3-4

 

-until next time

Tamorra

 

 

I continue to promote and encourage people to seek after the Lord for encouragement, hope, motivation, and food for your soul.  He said that if you really do thirst or if we are too heavy with the burdens of this world, then we can turn to him.  Let us turn to him so that he can restore our souls.

 

 

Here are some more posts about my story: